Jeff Koons to Tie Balloon Animals at Local Child’s Birthday Party


TEMPLETON – In a squeaky twist of events, famed artist Jeff Koons has agreed to tie balloon animals at little Jimmy Perkin’s birthday party. “I just can’t sell my giant statues of balloon animals anymore,” Koons told ArtChortle Press, “but there is never a shortage of need for clowns at birthday parties!” He also added: “No one pays for my porn series anymore either. They just download it for free on the internet. That used to be my most steady income.”

This comes after several blows to Koon’s inflated reputation as the King of Kitsch, including last week when sculptures at Rockefeller Plaza, MoMA and LACMA were filled with helium and released to the heavens.

News on the party is forthcoming, though according to little Jimmy Perkin’s mother the party lineup is “bitchin'”. -CQ

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