Woman destroyed by selfie-taking artwork

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LOS ANGELES – Yet another tragedy for culture in the selfie’s plague on museums: A celebrated woman at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art was destroyed yesterday by a careless selfie-taking artwork. 

The sculpture, a 2000-year-old roman masterpiece, crushed the young woman’s spine while attempting to sit on her shoulders. Conservators at the  Cedars-Sinai Medical Center have not said if the young woman can be repaired enough to visit the museum again. 

“The Museum certainly has a duty to protect its collection,” said head of security Sandra O’Neal, “but our primary concern must always be the safety of our guests.” 

Unfortunately this is not the first time an accident like this has happened. For example, last year on a German college campus an American exchange student’s head was trapped by a marble sculpture of a vagina attempting to capture a humorous Facebook profile picture. -CQ

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