Talented Student to Attend Mediocre Art Program to Preserve Inflated Sense of Self

juried_student_art_show_16393438843CHICAGO, IL – Local high school senior Lawrence Aaldeman, a talented aspiring artist, will be attending a virtually unknown community college art program in Iowa later this year. “My entire identity through high school has been built on how I am the most talented artist in school. If I go to one of the really nice schools, I’ll have to compete with other people who might be better than me”, Lawrence said in an interview on his high school’s news channel. The Art Institute of Chicago offered Lawrence a full-ride scholarship last month, but Lawrence refused. “It’s almost unheard of”, a representative from the Institute said. “Our scholarships are highly competitive and the only reason anyone has turned one down before is because they died.” Lawrence remains confident in his decision: “I’m going to totally cream the other students at that school. If I went to a better school, my work would be bogged down by the critical thinking, growth, and all the helpful connections in a difficult to navigate Art World. This way I’ll know where I stand and the world will still look the way it looks to me now.” -CQ

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